The End of Ten
by clarkstonmom
Summary: Story precedes previously published story Teamwork and A Perfect Fit. Picks up in the middle of TBO, but brings Joe and Steph together. Note: Story now in one chapter & contains quote marks, etc. Deleted old version which didn't load right. Content same.


**The End of Ten**

**Ch. 1**

"_Babe," Ranger said, wrapping his arms around me, gathering me close to him._

_I meant to push away, but I was distracted by the scent of the sexy shower gel mingled with warm Ranger. "You smell great," I told him, my lips brushing against his neck as I spoke, my mind not totally connected to my mouth. "I thought of you every time I took a shower. I love this stuff you use/"_

"_My housekeeper buys it for me," Ranger said. "Maybe I should give her a raise."_

_And he kissed me._

"_Oh shit," I said._

"_Now what?"_

"_I'm sorry. I'm having a major guilt attack over Morelli."_

"_While we're on the subject, why aren't you in his bed?"_

I, of course, knew why I wasn't in Morelli's bed. The fight we had, _the fight I picked really_, was small stuff. I would not have moved out over it, if it weren't for the graffiti. The real question was would I tell Ranger? I've been here before with Ranger. He'd ask me a question about my relationship with Morelli and I would avoid answering it. I could rationalize this by convincing myself that I really didn't know half the time what my relationship with Morelli was. But was that it? Or was I subconsciously trying to keep Ranger in the dark so he could be my stand-by guy if Morelli ever walked out of my life? Ooh!! That didn't make me sound good, did it? So here I am again, with no idea what I am going to say. Then I flashed back to seconds ago when I was kissing Ranger and had that major guilt attack over Joe. Would I have had that if my feelings for Joe weren't real? And Joe said he trusted me. That has to say something about his feelings for me. Besides, he's actually told me he loved me.

At that moment I decided I had to be honest. I couldn't keep playing this game with Ranger. And before I knew it, before I could think about it anymore, I blurted it all out. "Well, I was in his bed. In fact, our last night together was amazing. But when we got up the next morning there was gang graffiti all over his house and I knew I had to get out of there. Junkman obviously knew where I was and he would just keep coming back. I couldn't endanger Joe like that so I staged a fight and I left. I wasn't sure where to go until the global positioning system on the truck led me here." There. Honesty. That was refreshing.

"It's about time Babe."

"What's about time?"

Ranger just stared at me, his face unreadable as always. I had no idea what he was about to say to me.

"It's about time you were honest with me that you love Morelli."

Whatever I expected him to say in response to my statement, it wasn't that. Ranger had never treated Joe as an obstacle in our "relationship." In fact, the constant sexual tension between us seemed to indicate that he preferred to pretend Joe doesn't even exist. And now here he was telling me how I felt about him. Although I was pretty sure I didn't want to continue this game with Ranger, I still wasn't sure how I felt about him commenting on my feelings for Joe. For whatever reason, I still didn't want to confront how I felt about Joe. Up until now, I was OK living in denial. Now Ranger was packing my bags for a one-way trip out of the land of denial. Well, I wasn't going to leave there without a fight, so I did what comes naturally, I got angry.

"What! I never said I loved him," I answered, my voice disturbingly high-pitched.

Again the blank stare. Ranger was in perfect control of his emotions.

"You left a house where you were protected and went out on your own without even knowing where you were going, just to protect Morelli. You didn't care that I might be angry when I found you in my apartment. Babe, whether you say the words or not, that's love. Why are you so afraid to admit it?"

"I'm not afraid." Of course I'm afraid, but I hadn't moved out of denialville yet so I can keep going with it.

"I need to think." I climbed off the bed and left the room, without a backward glance at Ranger. Indignation seemed like the way to go at the moment. I clamored into the kitchen, not really knowing what to do with myself. Once there, I realized that I needed thinking food, and Ranger didn't have any of that in here. Nope. No donuts, no cake, nothing greasy. I couldn't leave to get anything, and I'd be damned if I asked Ranger for a favor at the moment. No, I was going to have to do this on my own. I figured I would need energy, one way or another, so I reluctantly grabbed a yogurt and headed for the gym Ranger kept in the building. I figured nobody would think to look for me there, since it was filled with exercise equipment and I have a moral disdain for exercise.

When I reached the gym, I chose a piece of exercise equipment that looked like it would double nicely as a chair and let out a large sigh. I didn't like people telling me what to do, or how I feel, but I couldn't get Ranger's words out of my head. Deep down I knew he was right. Joe was everything I wanted and I loved him. However, the last thing I wanted was a Morelli-induced broken heart.

What if I came home one day and found Morelli and Joyce on the kitchen table? No wait—that was my ex—the horse's ass. Joe has always been faithful, unlike me. Thoughts of Ranger popped into my head and I pushed them away. I don't even want to go there right now. What if I admitted I loved him and then he walked out of my life like he's done before? "Come on," the little voice inside my head said, "you were 16. Were you really going to marry him when you were 16?" OK, maybe not. But then I started thinking about the time we were going at it hot and heavy on my couch, when his pager went off and I didn't hear from him for five months afterward. "That was two years ago, before he even told you he loved you," the little voice hissed again, "since then he's always been there for you." All of a sudden, images started crashing into my head of all the times he had been there for me. I thought about all the times Joe showed up at my many disasters after hearing my name on the police radio. And all the times he looked the other way when I did something illegal. Being a cop is important to him, so it couldn't be easy for him to do that. He did it for me. I remembered the time he stayed up all night and played Monopoly with me to keep me and my family safe from Abruzzi, despite the fact that we were broken up at the time. And I thought about all those times when he was just there with me--and for me-- with a smile or a hug or a pizza. Those quiet moments that don't seem big at the time, but in retrospect, really showed what a caring man Joe is. And then it hit me. Joe would always be there for me…as he always has been. I thought about the way he made me feel. How I was never able to forget that feeling from the time I was sixteen. Even when I am angry with him, there's passion bubbling underneath. Finally, I thought about how proud I was of him, and the man he had become. Joe had worked so hard to break the Morelli men archetype of drunken abusive men, and he had succeeded. Sure, he still had his macho Italian moments, but even those could be endearing if I were being honest with myself. Except when he was asking me to be something I wasn't. But that was my head talking. My heart was telling me he just wanted to keep me safe and ragging on my job was his way of dealing with it.

Damned if Ranger wasn't right about my being afraid as well. I was afraid to listen to my heart. I still had this fear that if I admitted I loved Joe, and he one day left, I would fall apart. But since I was trying for honesty right now, what did I _honestly_ think would happen if I told Joe I loved him? Did I honestly believe he would run the other way? He hasn't yet, and goodness knows I've given him a lot of reasons to. Maybe our problems have more to do with my own insecurities than because of Joe. Maybe I should stop blaming him for Dickie's actions and the actions of an 18 year-old kid. And all of a sudden, I knew what I had to do. It was time for me to admit to myself, out loud, that I loved Joe. Then I would try to muster up the courage to tell him, after everything I've put him through. I stood up and scanned the room for surveillance cameras. Confident there were none, I screamed, "I love Joe Morelli." There!! I said it. That wasn't so hard. I'm feeling better already. Now all I have to do is tell Joe. But first, I need to figure out how I'm going to get out of here.

**Ch. 2**

With renewed purpose, I stepped in the elevator and pushed the button for the seventh floor. I was a woman on a mission. Stephanie Plum always gets her man. I was determined to find Joe. But first, I was going to have to break out of Ranger's building. I also felt I owed it to Valerie to attend the shower. I knew the rumors about Junkman tagging a cop and then coming after me, but what would Junkman be doing at the VFW? And anyway, it wasn't like me to hide away. I was going crazy. And now that I had finally admitted to myself how I truly felt about Joe, I was anxious to see him. Junkman was not going to hinder what had already been delayed long enough. As I opened the door to Ranger's apartment, I casually surveyed my surroundings. In case I was being watched, I didn't want it to look like I was planning a break for it.

"Can I get you anything for lunch?" I whipped around at the sound of the voice and found myself staring at Ella. Just sweet little Ella. No big Merry Man who could carry me to my room and lock me up. And no Ranger.

"No thanks, Ella. By the way, have you seen Ranger this afternoon?"

"Yes, but I'm afraid you've missed him. He left for work."

"Oh, that's too bad. Thanks for letting me know." YES!!

I plodded up the stairs and went into the bathroom. I decided on a quick shower, and then I would make my break. The warm water was relaxing, and my mind quickly wandered to all of the things I would say to Joe when I saw him. I absently reached for the shower gel, and immediately put it down. No more Ranger shower gel for me. From here on out, I was a one-man woman. I could do this. Joe was the right man. I found some plain old soap and let my mind wander back to Joe. And then I decided if this was going to be a quick shower, thinking about Joe wasn't a good idea after all.

I got out of the shower, toweled off, and slid into the dress I had picked out for Val's shower. I glanced at the clock and realized I still had a couple hours before the shower. I didn't want to be wandering around on my own, and I didn't want to hang out at my parent's house, so I watched some TV, paced the hall, watched a little more TV, and after the second pacing decided it was time to go. I snatched the keys from the table beside the door and slipped out. Wow!! That was easy. A little too easy. I forgot about the security cameras. Sure enough, one of Ranger's men was waiting for me as I stepped out of the elevator into the garage.

(Side note: JE does humor the best, so I decided to leave this scene as she wrote it. It's classic.)

"_Get out of my way," I said to him._

"_I can't let you leave the building," he said._

"_And how are you going to stop me?"_

_He shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. He had a stun gun in his hand._

_Well?" I asked._

"_I'm supposed to stun you, if I have to."_

"_Okay, let me get this straight. You're going to stun-gun the woman who's been living with Ranger?"_

_Hal's face was red, leaning toward purple. "Don't give me a hard time," he said. "I like this job and I'll lose it if I screw up with you."_

"_You touch me with that stun gun and I'll have you arrested for assault. You won't have to worry about this job."_

"_Jeez," Hal said._

"_Wait a minute," I said. "Let me see the gun for just a second."_

_Hal held the stun gun out to me. I took it, pressed it to his arm, and he went down like a ton of bricks. Hal wasn't a bad guy, but he was dumb as a box of rocks._

As I pulled out of the garage in one of Ranger's black SUV's, I scanned for any cars that might be tailing me. I didn't see anything suspicious, so I drove to the VFW, constantly monitoring the rear view mirror for anything out of the ordinary. Of course, in my case, out-of-the-ordinary was becoming ordinary. When I got to the VFW, I took one more cursory scan of the parking lot before feeling confident enough to exit the car. I hadn't seen anyone follow me here, and there didn't seem to be any way the Slayers could know where I would be tonight, but I guess I couldn't be too careful. Anyway, Joe had said that I wasn't a target until after they tagged a cop, so I was probably OK.

I marched into the VFW, exuding an air of confidence I wasn't really feeling. Truth be told, I was unnerved by the situation with Junkman, and completely unnerved by what I was planning to do about Joe. Coming to terms with the fact that I truly loved him and telling him that I loved him were one thing. Overcoming the obstacles in our way was something else. Maybe after everything we had been through, telling him I loved him was too little too late. I was lacking confidence. What I needed was a good old-fashioned girl pep talk. I thought coming to a decision about Joe would make me feel better. But until I saw him and knew how it was going to turn out, I was feeling something akin to nausea.

**Ch. 3 **

As I entered the room, my eyes darted around for a suitable candidate for that pep talk. If I didn't get it soon, I thought I might puke, and that is never attractive. And then I spotted Val and Lula across the room, talking by the food table. Val looked happy. She really did. I know she had her doubts about Albert in the beginning, but seeing her now, I was sure her decision to marry him was the right one. I hoped my ending would work out the same way. I was going to tell Val and Lula I loved Joe and see what they said. I thought Val would be supportive. I wasn't sure what Lula would say. I thought she secretly held out hope for Ranger. Probably so she could have a lifetime supply of sex stories to feed her own fantasies. Lula made no secret of how she lusted for Ranger. Either way, she would give it to me straight and that's what I needed right now. I took a deep breath and walked over to them. As I approached, Val looked up and gave me a wave and a big smile.

"I'm so glad you could make it! Does this mean the threat is over?"

"Yeah girl!! I just know Batman wouldn't have let you out of his sight if that Junkman was still around. When did they get him?" Lula said.

"Well, they didn't exactly catch Junkman. I sort of broke out of Ranger's apartment to come." Lula gave me a look that said I was going to be in big trouble when I got home later. Like I'd be getting grounded for a month or something. Val looked impressed that I would risk life and limb to attend her shower. "The thing is," I continued, "I came to a decision this morning and I just couldn't wait any longer to act on it. Only now, I'm not sure it is the right decision. I mean, the decision about how I feel is the right decision, I'm sure about that, I'm just not sure I made the right decision about what I want to do about how I feel."

Lula stared at me for a minute. "Girl, what kind of lame ass babbling is that? I've seen you say and do some dumb things, but I really have no idea what you're talking about this time." Val nodded in agreement. I took a deep breath, and on the exhale managed to spit it out.

"I want to tell Joe I love him and that I want a real relationship with him."

Val smiled and opened her mouth to say something. But before she did, she shut it again. Her eyes grew wide, focusing on something over my shoulder. What kind of advice technique was this? She certainly wasn't being very helpful. And then it hit me. There was somebody behind me. And I'll just bet it was someone I would rather not have behind me. After all, this is me we're talking about.

Slowly, I turned my head. And there they were. Not one, but two someones. Joe. And Ranger. They must have heard about the stun gun incident and rushed over to check on me. It had been a few days since I had seen Joe and he looked as good as ever. He was wearing the jeans that fit him tight in all the right places, a button down shirt I wanted to unbutton, his brown leather jacket, and a look on his face that said he had heard everything I said to Val. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't sure how I felt about the fact that he had heard me. I'd wanted to tell him in my own way and in my own time. And I hadn't had the chance to get my pep talk from the girls. And the look on his face showed more astonishment at what I had said, as opposed to say, happiness. So, as I had so many times in the past, I took the road of indignation.

"Joe, this is a shower, what are you doing here?"

Now the look on his face changed from astonishment to something like sadness. Joe wasn't using the cop face to mask his feelings tonight. Great. Now I was feeling guilty again.

"Ranger called me after he found out you left his place. I came to make sure you were OK."

"You weren't supposed to hear that. I didn't know…"

"I'm glad I heard it. I've been waiting a long time to hear how you feel."

And then it hit me. Why I had left Joe in the first place. The danger was still there. Maybe this wasn't the time to get into this. Was I being selfish? Or just scared again? I really wish I'd had a chance to get that pep talk before seeing Joe. I was confused and I didn't know how to react.

"Well, it doesn't matter anyway. I'm not coming back. Do you understand?" There. I reacted badly. What else is new?

Joe covered his face with both hands and rubbed vigorously. I guess that was sign language for "You're really starting to piss me off." Finally he removed his hands, and spoke. "Jesus, Steph. When are you going to admit to yourself that you want the happily-ever-after and the picket fence.? I understand your doubts. I used to run from my feelings for you, and back then I would have let you run from your feelings too. But I'm not going to let you run from them anymore. You think I want to change you, but I don't. When I was a kid, I used to watch you jump off the roof trying to fly. I get that's part of who you are. I love you. It's that simple." Joe paused for a moment, looking at me. His eyes showed all the emotions he was feeling and I knew he was telling me the truth. I was supposed to tell him I loved him now. That's why I had left Ranger's building. I was Stephanie Plum, woman with a plan. So why couldn't this woman open her mouth and say something? The moment passed in seconds that felt like hours. Disappointment flashed across Joe's face when he determined that I wasn't going to say anything to him.

He let out a big sigh. "I just hope I don't have to wait too long for you to realize it, because my kitchen window could really use some new curtains." Joe reached out and stroked the length of my cheek with his finger, then turned and left the building.

As much as I hate it when this happens, my jaw dropped open and I stood there like an idiot. What just happened? Joe told me he loved me, that he wasn't going to try and change me and I said nothing. But that last part. That's what really got to me. The part about the curtains. Back when Joe was avoiding a committed relationship with me, he accused me of looking like I was ready to buy curtains. He was right, of course, although I wouldn't admit it at the time. And I would never admit to myself how much it hurt when he said that, knowing he didn't want me the same way I wanted him. So Joe and I carried on our relationship, maintaining the status quo. But whether I consciously acknowledged it or not, I think that statement has always been one of the obstacles between us. I always felt so certain that Joe would never want a real commitment with me. Joe bringing that up again tonight told me everything I needed to know. He understood. He was right, I do want the commitment, and the happy ending, and the picket fence. I wanted the lasting love. I always have, I was just too damn afraid to admit it because I never really knew if that was what Joe truly wanted. Now I knew it was. My mind was racing with all these thoughts, and I knew I had to get out of here and chase after Joe. I needed a chance to make this right.

"Did you hear that?" I said, turning to Lula and Connie who both looked equally confused. "He wants curtains."

"Shit girl, I can see getting excited about new shoes, or special undies and all that, but I know I can't understand what's got you all excited about some curtains." Lula said.

"I can't explain it now, he wants curtains! I have to go."

**Ch. 4**

I ran into the parking lot, looking for Joe, no longer being careful about my safety. I saw him about to get in his truck, and my breath caught. This was it. The moment was here. I stepped off the curb and began walking toward Joe. From the corner of my eye I saw a black car appear out of the darkness. I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I didn't recognize the car, but it seemed out of place. Then it started driving toward Joe. Well, it was probably someone on the force that had tracked him down to discuss a case. That was probably it. Nothing to worry about.

As I took another step toward him, I heard a loud noise. It was the unmistakable sound of a gunshot. Everything went into slow motion. There was a rushing sound in my head and my feet felt like lead, unable to take another step. And then Joe went down, sprawled onto the parking lot next to his truck. I started running toward him, screaming for someone to help. The black car peeled out of the parking lot and disappeared around the corner.

I reached Joe and threw myself on the ground next to him. Blood was starting to pool around him, but in the dark I couldn't see where he had been hit, so I was afraid to move him. Instead, I just cradled his head in my lap. I was praying someone had heard the gunshot or my screams, and would come out to investigate. I didn't want to leave Joe alone in the parking lot.

As if on cue, Ranger was suddenly at my side. Sirens were sounding in the distance. Help was on its way. A wave of relief passed through me. "Please, Joe, just hang on. There's so much I need to say to you. Please." Suddenly, Ranger reached down and grabbed me under the arm. He pulled me up and turned me to face him.

"What are you doing?!," I shrieked.

"Steph, come on. We have to get out of here. Junkman could come back for you at any time."

"I don't care," I screamed at Ranger. "This wasn't supposed to happen. Don't you see? That's why I left him. Don't you see? This wasn't supposed to happen!" And then grief and anger overtook me and I started hitting Ranger. I was pounding his chest, and screaming at him and I really didn't care what happened to me. Ranger stood there and took everything I had to give. The paramedics and several cop cars finally arrived, interrupting my assault on Ranger. People had started gathering in the lot to see what had happened. The burg grapevine was going to go crazy with this.

As the paramedics reached Joe, I turned to join them when Ranger grabbed me again.

"Steph, you really need to come with me. I need to take you someplace safe." I just wanted to be with Joe. Somehow, I needed to make Ranger understand that. "I have to be with him," I said pleadingly. "This is all my fault and I am not going to leave him. You have to take me to the hospital. Now."

"No Steph, I need to get you to a safehouse. Junkman was waiting to tag a cop before going after you. He's done that. He's going to be coming for you now."

I was insane with grief, and the feeling was increasing with every minute. The paramedics had done what they could for Joe, loaded him into the ambulance, and left for the hospital. I had no idea if he was even going to live, and Ranger was being so _Ranger. _He was showing no emotion, while I was experiencing emotion overload. Tears started streaming down my face and I couldn't stop them. I looked up at Ranger, and with all the rage I was feeling, I spat, "He didn't just "tag a cop". He shot Joe. He needs me and I am going to the hospital, so either you take me or I will walk there myself. I don't care if Junkman gets me."

Ranger simply nodded his head and steered me to his car.

**Ch. 5**

We drove in silence to the hospital. Ranger was in his zone, watching out for Junkman. The truth of the matter was I was glad to have Ranger with me. I knew he wouldn't let anything happen to me, and it allowed me to focus my thoughts on Joe instead. How did this happen? How could I have let this happen? Joe was too worried about me to even think he could be a target. And what about the way I treated him? I would never forgive myself for passing up the chance to tell him how I felt. I could rationalize it any way I wanted, I could tell myself I was doing it to protect him, but the bottom line is I hurt him. He was fighting for his life without even the benefit of knowing I truly loved him.

Silently, the tears started flowing down my cheeks. Ranger's ESP kicked in and he looked over at me. He gently wiped a tear from my cheek, but still didn't say anything. He was wise enough to know that nothing he could say could comfort me right now. I had to give him credit for allowing me to hit him in the parking lot. Ranger didn't seem the type to let himself get smacked around by a girl. I took a minute to consider what a good friend he was, and then my thoughts drifted back to Joe.

When we reached the hospital, Ranger came around and helped me out of the car. I noticed that he was using his body to shield me from the area beyond the car. I didn't want anyone else hurt because of me tonight. I brushed past him and headed into the hospital., stopping at the front desk. Since this was the Burg, I didn't have to say a word before I was directed to the operating room where they had taken Joe. A few cops were already there. Most of them were friends of Joe's. I was glad to see them there, both for their support of Joe and because I knew all the stops were being pulled out to bring Junkman to justice for what he had done to Joe.

"I need to go talk to the cops over there," I said, turning to Ranger. I need to tell them what I know. It was dark and it all happened so fast, but I think I can at least give them a description of the car. Will you wait?" Ranger nodded and walked over to the corner of the waiting room and sat down.

I walked over to Eddie Gazarra, one of my best friends on the police force. "How you holdin' up Steph?" Eddie asked.

"I'm OK Eddie." But I didn't feel OK. Eddie wrapped his arms around me and held my head to his chest while I cried some more. I can't remember the last time I cried so much. "You just have to believe he is going to be OK, Steph, you just have to know it to be true."

"Thanks Eddie, I'll try. Is there any word on his condition yet?"

"Not yet," Eddie responded. Well, at least he was still alive. "Are you up to telling me what you know about the shooting?" I was absolutely up for that. There was no way I was letting Junkman get away with shooting Joe. It was already his plan to take me out after doing who knows what to me, he didn't have to go after Joe too. After telling Eddie everything I knew, which wasn't much, he gave me one last hug and kiss goodbye and went back to the other cops to follow up on the information.

I sauntered back to Ranger. I was emotionally and physically exhausted, and I just wanted to sit down and wait for news about Joe. I knew my family was informing Joe's family about what happened, and I appreciated it. I didn't want to have to talk about what happened, or explain it, or answer questions about it. Ranger is always a good person to be around when talking is unwanted. As expected, Ranger just sat there silently, his arms folded over his chest, in his zone. Occasionally, he would walk over to the other side of the waiting room and make a call. I assume he was looking for information regarding the apprehension of Junkman. All I could do was replay the events of the night in my head, and hope that Joe would be alright. I couldn't picture my life without him if he wasn't. Talk about irony. I could not stop thinking about the fact that when I was finally able to admit that I wanted Joe in my life forever, that chance could be taken away. After several excruciating hours, a doctor finally came out and introduced himself as Dr. Michaels, the surgeon who had operated on Joe.

"Ms. Plum, the surgery was successful. We were able to remove the bullet and repair the damage. Mr. Morelli was fairly lucky; the bullet missed the major organs." My heart started doing flip-flops. Joe was going to be alright! Then I caught the look on the doctor's face, and the flip-flops stopped and dread returned. "Unfortunately, he sustained a great deal of blood loss and his brain was deprived of oxygen. He slipped into a coma and there is no way of knowing when he will come out of it. I'm very sorry. My suggestion to you is that you go home right now and get some rest, the next few days could be rough."

"Please, I'd like to stay. If I could just talk to him, maybe it would help." I didn't like the look of pity that was on the doctor's face. The look that says there isn't a lot of hope.

"I understand, Ms. Plum, but he is in intensive care right now and can't have visitors. I really feel it is best for you to go home. Maybe there will be better news when you come back in the morning."

And then the doctor left., and I didn't know what to do or where to go. I just stood there. It didn't feel right going to Joe's house without him there. And I didn't want to go anywhere my family would be. I couldn't face them right now. Anyway, I was still a target for Junkman, now more than ever. Ranger's ESP was working, because he put his arm around me and said, "Come on, I'll take you home with me where you can be alone, and I can keep you safe." I was too tired to argue, so I just blindly followed him.

Everything after that was like watching myself in a movie. I was aware of Ranger putting me in his car, and driving away from the hospital and back to Rangeman. The doctor's words, the look on his face, kept flashing before my eyes, so I closed them tight. I didn't want to think about Joe any more tonight. So many things had gone wrong. I just wanted to make it all go away. I must have fallen asleep, because suddenly I was aware of Ranger carrying me from the car and laying me on his bed. He kissed the top of my head before turning out the lights and closing the door behind him. When he was gone, I drifted off into a fitful sleep.

**Ch. 6**

My eyes blinked open. I was back in the parking lot of the VFW. What was I doing here? I must have come back to see if I could find anything that could help the police. I slowly approached Joe's truck, head aimed toward the ground, vigilant for even the tiniest clue. I heard a car engine and looked up to see the same black car from earlier drive down the street. I followed it with my eyes to see where it was headed. I decided to borrow Joe's truck and follow the car, hoping it would lead me to the Slayers hang out. Then I could call the cops and they could apprehend Junkman. As I got closer to Joe's truck, I saw Joe. What was he doing here? Well, never mind that now. This time I can warn him of the danger and stop him from getting hurt anymore.

"Joe," I screamed. Joe!" He can't seem to hear me. He was walking away from me as I notice the black car approaching him. "Joe, stop! Joe!" I keep screaming his name, hoping he will hear me and come back toward me. Suddenly, his arms are around me. Holding me close. It feels so good to be back in his arms. I'm so glad I was able to help him this time. Maybe that will help make up for how I treated him earlier. I broke the embrace so I could tell him how much I love him. But it's not Joe. It's Ranger. I was in Ranger's apartment. Shit! It was all a dream. I had done nothing to help Joe after all. And now I was in Ranger's arms. Double Shit.

"Babe, you were having a pretty bad nightmare. I came to see if I could help."

"No, I don't need your help. I'm fine, really. You should go."

"Whatever you say, Babe." Reluctantly, he slid his arms from around me and started to get up from the edge of the bed. I loved Joe with all my heart. I knew that. But the nightmare had disturbed me to the core and I was feeling helpless and vulnerable. And I didn't want to have any more nightmares. I didn't think I could handle it. I reached out and grabbed onto Ranger's shirt. "Ranger, wait. Will you just hold me tonight? Joe always holds me when I get afraid and it helps." Ranger lowered his eyes and very quietly said, "Anything for you, Babe." He climbed into bed and curled up behind me. The warmth from his body immediately started to calm me and I could feel my body relaxing. I felt Ranger stroking my hair as I drifted off to sleep and it made me feel safe.

**Ch. 7**

The moment I woke up the next morning, all the events of last night came rushing back to me and I let out a small groan. This woke Ranger. Ranger! Don't tell me I slept with him again! I rolled over in the bed to separate myself from the arms that were holding me. I needed to be capable of rational thought, and I didn't think I could do that with Ranger so close.

"What's going on? Why are you in bed with me?"

"Don't you remember, Babe? You had a nightmare last night and asked me to stay with you until you fell back asleep. I must have fallen asleep too."

"Ranger, look…"

"Steph, it's OK. You were scared, I happened to be here, end of story. We don't have to make more of this than it is, and we don't have to talk about it again."

I knew there was going to be a time when Ranger and I were going to have to talk about it, but now wasn't it, and I was relieved by Ranger's words. "Thanks, Ranger," was all I could manage to say. I glanced at the bedroom clock. It was late. I should have been at the hospital hours ago. As always, Ranger sensed my thoughts. "Come on, I'll take you back to the hospital." I nodded, got off the bed, and went into the bathroom to get dressed.

When Ranger and I arrived at the hospital, Joe's family was already assembled in the waiting room. All eyes turned to us as we entered. I felt Ranger's body tense next to mine under their scrutiny. I was suddenly worried Bella was going to put the eye on me. Surely no one believed I hooked up with Ranger the night Joe got shot. If they did, I suppose I would have only myself to blame. The situation with Ranger was confusing and I should have cleared it up a long time ago. Ranger turned to me, "I don't want to leave you unprotected, but…" I interrupted him. There was no need to say anything. He needed to go.

"Don't worry, I'll be OK. I promise I'll stay right here. I won't leave the hospital. I doubt Junkman is going to be able to do anything to me in here."

"Be careful. Stay aware. I'm heading to the office to see what I can find out about the Slayers." And he was gone.

I was alone and it was time to face Joe's family. As much as "the eye" worried me, I had to know how Joe was doing. I turned and headed for Joe's mom and Grandma, the scariest of the bunch.

"Mrs. Morelli, Grandma Bella, how's Joe?" I got an icy stare in response. Surprisingly, it was Grandma Bella who spoke first.

"There's been no change. He's still in a coma. But they have moved him out of intensive care, and he can have visitors." And then with all the authority she commanded, she stared me in the eyes and directed, "You need to go see him. He loves you, you know, you're the only one. Your seeing him could make a big difference."

Was there really any doubt I would see him? I guess there was, and I guess I put it there. I felt so sad. Nobody, including Joe, knew just how much I loved him. My throat started closing up. I was trying so hard not to cry, all I could manage to say was, "Of course I'll go see him." I took a few steps toward the door of the waiting room and stopped. My feet shuffled in place. I was plagued with uncertainty as to what my next move should be. Finally, I turned back to Mrs. Morelli and Grandma Bella and softly said, "I love him too you know." Then I quickly turned around and left, unsure of what the reaction to my news would be. At the moment, I really didn't care. I was too anxious to see Joe.

**Ch. 8**

When I reached Joe's room, I hesitated outside the door. I felt so guilty about what had happened to him, and how I treated him before it happened. I didn't know how I was going to face him, even if he was unconscious. Then I realized this wasn't about me. This was about Joe, and I would do anything I had to do to get him through this. I put my hand on the door and pushed my way inside. I wasn't prepared for what I saw. There were tubes and machines everywhere, doing everything for him. Joe looked helpless. I had never seen him like that in my life. Seeing him like this just wasn't right. I couldn't hold the tears back any longer, and they began to flow down my cheeks. I approached the bed and held Joe's hand in mine. My thumb stroked the back of his hand, while I sat silently thinking about what I was going to say.

"Joe, it's me. There are so many things I want to say to you, but not like this. I want to be able to look into your eyes, and you into mine. So, you need to do me a favor and wake up. I know I have no right to ask you for anything, but if you could do this one thing for me. You've never let me down before on the important things, and I don't expect you to start now. Joe, I promise if you wake up, it'll be worth it. I think you'll like what I have to say. Or, at least, I hope you will. But that isn't really important now. The important thing is for you to get better." I didn't know what else to say. I placed a kiss inside the palm of his hand, as he had done to me once. I put all the love I could into that kiss and hoped it would be enough. Then I sat there with him, willing him to wake up, until a nurse came and told me visiting hours were over.

It was late when I left Joe's room. I wasn't sure if anyone would still be here, and I really didn't want to face Joe's family again today. Once seemed like enough. As I was standing in the hall outside Joe's room, wondering where I could go, Eddie Gazarra approached me.

"Hi Steph, how's Joe?"

"He's still in a coma. I just left him. Any news on Junkman?"

"Yeah, Steph, actually that's why I'm here. We apprehended Junkman earlier today trying to leave the city. He sang like a bird to help save his ass, so we were also able to round up most of the Slayers. I think you're out of danger. For the moment anyway."

I tried to smile at his last comment. Danger always had a way of finding me. Even if this crisis was over, I was sure there would be another one coming soon. At least it wouldn't be too soon. I wasn't planning on chasing skips until Joe was healthy. My place, for now, was at the hospital. Vinnie was going to have to do without me. I honestly didn't think that would stress him out too much. Hell, he'd probably celebrate.

"Thanks for coming down here and giving me the news, Eddie. You're a good friend."

"No problem, Steph. I wanted to check on Joe anyways. Do you know what you're going to do now?"

"I'm going to stay here until he gets better. Do what I can to make it happen. I feel a little lost right now, but I know this is where I need to be."

"You're a good person, Steph. Take care of yourself." Eddie placed a kiss on my forehead and headed back to the station.

I was relieved that Junkman had been caught, but I was much less concerned about myself at the moment than I was about Joe. I told Eddie the truth. I did feel lost. I didn't know where I should be right now. I couldn't see Joe again until tomorrow, but I didn't want to leave the hospital in case something happened. I decided to call Ranger and let him know about Junkman.

I took the elevator down to the lobby of the hospital to avoid seeing anyone I knew, and called Ranger.

"Yo."

"It's me Steph. Uh…I just found out they caught Junkman and I wanted to tell you since you've been so helpful through this whole mess and…" I was babbling and I knew it. I was having a hard time knowing what to say to Ranger.

"I heard. I wasn't sure how to reach you at the hospital. I figured you'd find out from the cops."

"Well, I guess since the danger's over, I won't be back to stay at your apartment anymore." There was silence on the other end, so I continued talking. "I'm probably going to be spending most of my time at the hospital for a while anyway."

"I'll have Tank bring your things to you there. He can be there in about 15 minutes. I can hang onto Rex if you need me to."

"Thanks. Both of those offers sound great. Seems I've been saying thanks a lot lately."

"No problem, Babe." There was an awkward silence. I didn't know what else to say, and Ranger never says much of anything. I was afraid if I said "goodbye" it would sound final. Joe was the man I loved, but I still didn't want to lose Ranger as a friend.

"So, I'll talk to you soon," I finally said hopefully.

"Soon." And he disconnected.

I took a seat in the lobby and waited for Tank to bring my things.

**Ch. 9**

The days passed, one just like the next. Me, Angie Morelli, Grandma Bella and several aunts waited at the hospital for news. Any news. We took turns sitting with Joe, and hoping for a miracle. Occasionally, my family would come to check on me. Usually they brought food. That was good, since I didn't have the desire to obtain any for myself. I didn't want to leave the hospital. Not until I knew Joe would be alright. But each day, there was no change in his condition.

One positive thing to come from this was that I was getting to know Joe's family much better, and I wasn't nearly as scared of them any more. They were tough women, scary, but they had to be that way to survive the Morelli men in their life. But they loved Joe, and they now understood that I did too. At a time like this that simple fact bonded us together.

On the other hand, I haven't spoken to Ranger since I called to tell him about Junkman. The danger was over and he didn't need to protect me anymore. But it was more than that. Ranger had heard me say I loved Joe at Val's shower. And then there was that awkward moment between us when I woke up in his arms the morning after Joe was shot. It seemed obvious to both of us that the dynamics of our relationship would have to change. Could the friendship survive on its own without the underlying potential for sex that always seemed to exist between us? Ranger had said he was an opportunist. What if there were no more opportunities? It made me sad to think our friendship might not survive this, but I didn't have the emotional energy to invest in worrying about it right now. All I wanted, all I cared about right now, was Joe waking up so I could finally tell him I loved him. I was not going to pass up the chance again. If he made it through this, I prayed, I was not going to waste another minute. That was a promise. I didn't go to church much, but at this moment I felt my prayers might be heard better if I was in the right place to make it, so I headed to the hospital chapel. I hadn't been there since Joe had been brought in, and at this point I figured it couldn't hurt.

The chapel was dimly lit and very quiet. It felt peaceful. I lit a candle for Joe and took a seat by the front. Once again I made the promise not to throw away a chance at a life with Joe if he made it through this. When I was done, I didn't feel ready to leave. I was enjoying the peace, allowing my mind to wander to happier times with Joe. I was so lost in my memories I didn't even hear Ranger when he came in and sat down behind me.

I looked up when I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Is Joe…?"

"There's no change."

Ranger came around the pew, sat down next to me, and placed a comforting hand on my arm. I don't know why, but I pulled my arm away as quickly as if he had touched with me a hot iron.

"Don't touch me…you're not Joe."

"No, I'm not. But I'd like to think I'm still your friend. You let me be there for you the night Joe was shot. Babe, please let me be here for you now."

He just said he was my friend. Maybe I wasn't going to lose him from my life. But then again, we still hadn't discussed the terms of our "friendship." I was hopelessly confused. It wasn't entirely Ranger's fault I was in this mess with Joe, but part of me was blaming him somewhat. I felt so much guilt it seemed easier to share the load with someone else. And Ranger accepted it. He didn't deserve the way I was treating him any more than Joe did. I was screwing everything up and it was overwhelming. Without another thought, I placed my forehead on Ranger's chest. There was a slight hesitation when I was sure Ranger didn't know what to do. He was probably scared that I'd finally gone over the deep end. Then, he wrapped his arms around me, and I remembered Ranger doesn't scare that easily. At the moment, I was glad of that fact.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled into his chest. I know I keep lashing out at you. None of this is your fault, and I don't mean to act like it is"

"Well, at least you didn't hit me this time." I smiled a little at that, remembering the beating I had given Ranger in the parking lot of the VFW.

I pulled out of Ranger's embrace so he could see the smile. I really wanted to reassure him that I meant what I said. "I really am sorry. I just wanted you to tell me Joe was going to be alright."

"I know Babe."

"I love him Ranger. I love him so much. I think in some ways I have loved him since I was 16. After all this time and everything we've been through, that's what it comes down to. And I know that love isn't always enough. And I know that Joe and I have had problems staying together in the past, but a lot of that was my fault. I've been hurt before, and I put up a lot of defenses so it wouldn't happen again. But Joe isn't Dickie, and he isn't the reckless kid of his youth. And he may have done some dumb things in the past, but I know now they came out of his love for me, and his fear that I would get myself hurt or killed. Any other reasoning for it I created myself to keep obstacles between us. Now, none of that matters. All that matters now is that he recovers so I can spend the rest of my life with him. The way it was meant to be. Nothing, and NO ONE, will get in the way this time."

I had never been so open with Ranger about my relationship with Joe before, but I knew the moment had come. It was time to set the boundaries and see what happened from there. In the past, Ranger tended to obscure the boundary lines. Then again, maybe I had never really set them clearly. Either way, that ended now.

"I wasn't planning on standing in the way."

"No? Because that means no more poaching. No more stolen kisses, no more innuendoes. I'm setting the boundaries now." I took his hand in mine, and spoke gently, "Ranger, your friendship means a lot to me. I don't want to lose you from my life. But I wonder if you can respect the boundaries and stay in my life as my friend only."

Ranger shrugged his shoulders, but kept his hand in mine. "Babe, I value your friendship too. Of course I'm attracted to you, but I won't risk our friendship over it. You've made your decision and I can respect it. Besides, I knew this moment would come eventually. I've always known how you felt about Joe, even if you didn't."

"If you knew that I was actually in love with Joe, can I ask you what that night we spent together was all about?"

"That night was about you and I giving each other what we wanted and needed at the time, but with limitations we both imposed—me because of my lifestyle, and you because of your love for Morelli."

"I suppose I agree with that. I was missing Joe a lot during that time. And I can't lie. I have a strong physical attraction to you, and I feel close to you because of our friendship. We've been through a lot together. But I'm afraid I fooled myself into thinking my feelings for you were more than they were so I wouldn't have to face how deep my feelings were for Joe. That wasn't fair to either one of you. I'm sorry. But I know now that Joe has my heart, and I can't see a time when it won't be that way. If we're going to move past what happened between us, I need to know that you're OK with that."

"Babe, we're OK. Better than ever."

"I'm glad. Relieved, too. Now if Joe would only recover, everything would be perfect."

"Why don't you go see him and find out if there's any change in his condition? You must be hungry. I'll get you something to eat and bring it by Joe's room."

"I would appreciate that. I guess I am a little hungry. Thanks for knowing what I need."

"Always, Babe." He flashed me his huge smile and I knew everything would be OK with us. Ranger and I walked out of the chapel together, and parted ways at the end of the corridor. I walked to Joe's room feeling much better that my situation with Ranger had been resolved. I thought it would make it easier when…if…when Joe woke up.

When I entered his room, a nurse was checking Joe's vitals. She looked up from her chart when I came in, slowly nodded her head, and walked out. No change. Again. I walked over to Joe and lay my cheek to his chest, hoping the sound of his heartbeat would soothe me somehow. What would I do if I lost this man? I didn't want to think about it. I stayed there like that with him as I had every day for the last several days. I hoped he knew I was there and that he could feel how much I loved him.

Ranger came in, and the smell of the food he brought interrupted my thoughts. I guess I was hungry. I lifted my head up, stood, and took the food from Ranger. We sat down in the armchairs in corner of the room. I didn't feel like talking, I was all talked out. Luckily, Ranger isn't the chatty type so this worked out alright. After a few bites of the food, I was feeling a little better. When I was done, Ranger disposed of the food containers for me and sat back down with me. "There's no change yet." I guess I felt like talking again. "I'm scared and I'm frustrated. When is he going to wake up? If he would just wake up, I could tell him that I will spend the rest of my life with him making up for all the pain I caused."

"About that proposal Cupcake…" I turned my head slowly and found myself looking into those chocolate brown eyes that have always melted my heart. I was so afraid I might never see them again. Tears began welling in my eyes. I was afraid to blink, just in case I opened my eyes to find this was all in my head. But it was real. Joe was awake!

I knew the mature and responsible thing to do at that moment would be to go find Joe's doctor. But I'm still new to the mature and responsible thing, so instead I ran over to his bed, leaned over his body and kissed him. A kiss filled with all the passion and love I had been storing since I realized how much I wanted him. Joe broke the kiss first.

"Easy Cupcake, I'm not positive, but I think I have a gunshot wound." His lips started to curl into a smile, but only managed to get halfway before a grimace of pain crossed his face.

"I'm sorry Joe, I was just so happy to see you awake. I…we…were all so worried about you." Joe's eyes searched mine looking for answers from me. I had hoped the kiss had told him what I wanted him to know, but there was still some doubt in his eyes. I couldn't blame him. After all, I still hadn't said the words. But I was ready. I was so lost in the moment, I'd forgotten that Ranger was in the room with us. At the sound of his voice, I momentarily broke my gaze with Joe.

"I'll tell the doctor Joe's awake."

"Thanks Ranger, I appreciate that." Ranger nodded to me, then looked at Joe. "Welcome Back, Morelli," and he was gone.

"I love you Cupcake," Joe whispered as soon as Ranger closed the door behind him. This was not the way I wanted to do this, not the way I had pictured it in my head a thousand times since Joe had been shot, but at that moment I knew the time was perfect.

"I love you so much Joe." There, I said it. And I knew I meant it. This time, Joe gave me a full smile. That perfect, beautiful smile. "I knew it. Though it almost makes getting shot worth it just to hear you say it." Hmmm..maybe I should have asked the doctors to remove his smug bone at the same time they removed the bullet.

"I'm tired Cupcake," he said as he turned his head to the side and closed his eyes. I reached out and stroked his cheek with the back of my hand. "Just rest Joe." The doctor came in a moment later and I left so he could examine Joe. Standing in the hall, I couldn't remember a time that I had felt so happy. Joe was going to be alright! I felt sure of that. Maybe I couldn't say for sure what was going to happen with us in this crazy life of ours, but he loved me and I loved him, and at this moment nothing else mattered.

**Ch. 10**

I woke up this morning with a huge grin plastered on my face. Looking back at the last few weeks, it's hard to believe Joe is finally coming home today. Once Joe emerged from the coma and was capable of carrying on a coherent conversation, we decided the hospital was not the place for "the talk." We agreed we would finally discuss our relationship and attempt to work out all our issues when he was discharged.

In the meantime, Joe invited me to stay at his house. With Joe out of the coma, it was no longer necessary to stay at the hospital 24/7. And since I wanted to help take care of him when he was released, moving my stuff back into his house made sense.

With discussion of any serious topics tabled, we spent the days talking about Burg gossip, sports, weather--anything that couldn't lead us into dangerous territory. It was easy and relaxed, and felt right after the stress of surviving the shooting. During the last few days, however, Joe started driving everyone crazy, insisting he was ready to leave the hospital. Dr. Michaels finally agreed to release him—to my care. Oh Boy.

The phone rang, yanking me out of my reverie.

"Cupcake, I'm dying over here. When are you coming to spring me?"

"Poor choice of words Joe. Anyway, give me a break. I was up late last night after I left you at the hospital." The silence on the other end of the phone told me Joe was considering the implications of this.

"Hmmmm…did your late night activities involve batteries in any way? I can imagine you must be getting pretty lonely in that house all by yourself." Tell me about it. The shower massager had been working overtime lately.

"No! Geez!" I was trying to sound angry, but it wasn't working. I could hear Joe chuckling on the other end of the phone, and I smiled in spite of myself. I was glad he was coming home. "I'm not telling you. You'll see when you get home."

"No hint?"

"No."

"See you soon Cupcake." And he disconnected.

The doctor had advised Joe that he would need to limit his physical activity for the next couple of weeks. This included using the stairs in his house. Since there was more to do downstairs than in the bedroom—much to Joe's chagrin, his favorite bedroom activity fell under the "do not participate" category—I had spent last night re-arranging the living room so that everything Joe needed would be accessible from the couch. I placed comfy pillows and blankets all along the couch. A table next to the couch was littered with magazines, the TV remote control, the phone, and Joe's various medications. I may not be Burg housewife material, but I knew how to make Joe comfortable.

After hanging up the phone, I rolled out of bed and traipsed to the bathroom for a long hot shower. When I was done in the shower, I did the full hair and make-up thing. Then, I put on a low-cut dress guaranteed to raise Joe's blood pressure a few notches. OK. Maybe that didn't seem fair under the circumstances, but I felt like getting payback for the battery remark.

After walking Bob, I took one last look around the house before leaving. Everything seemed in order, so I climbed into my car and drove to the hospital. I entered the hospital, hoping it would be the last time for a long time to come. As I had done so many times in the last few weeks, I stepped onto the elevator and hit the button for Joe's floor. I walked down the corridor, passing a cluster of nurses who had taken care of Joe at one time or another during his stay. Despite my constant presence at the hospital, I had the distinct impression the nurses had some kind of pool going to see who could make Joe one of their permanent patients. They didn't look very happy to see me coming to take him home. Ha! Too bad ladies, his ass is mine.

I tapped on the door as I entered Joe's room. Joe was sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed and ready to go. His eyes did a full-body scan from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, and I could tell he liked what he saw. "You look great Steph."

"Thanks. I guess I could say the same about you. How did you get yourself dressed? I could have helped you if you'd waited."

Joe grinned. "That's OK Cupcake. I was anxious to get out of here, so one of the nurses helped me." Hunh! I'll just bet they did.

"Well, are you sure you don't want to stay a while longer? I saw lots of puffy eyes and red noses on the nurses outside."

Joe's grin grew into a smile. "Aw, c'mon Cupcake. You know I only have eyes for you."

I smiled in return. I did know that. Joe had a way of gazing at me that made me feel like I was the only woman on Earth.

"Come on Joe. Let's go home."

**Ch. 11**

When we arrived at Joe's house, Joe stayed at the bottom of the porch while I opened the door. I knew Bob would be excited to see Joe, and I didn't want a big Bob hug landing him back in the hospital. I stepped into the house, and absorbed the brunt of Bob's excitement. The big dog followed me into the kitchen, where I tossed him a snack to keep him occupied while I helped Joe into the house. Glancing around, it felt like I was home for the first time in a long time. Turning toward the door, I observed Joe standing just inside the doorway doing his own surveillance. He didn't look too happy to see his living room fashioned like a hospital room.

"You don't like it," I said with a little pout.

Joe gingerly put his arm around my shoulders and kissed the side of my head. "Well, I appreciate the effort Cupcake. But I finally got sprung from the hospital. The idea of sitting around on my ass again is kind of frustrating. A mischievous grin spread across his face. "You know I'm a man of action." Uh-huh. I knew. But his kind of action was temporarily off-limits.

"It'll only be for another couple weeks. And I'm going to take such good care of you, I'm sure the time will fly." Joe and I hadn't talked much about the shooting, but I still blamed myself for what happened, and I wanted to do whatever I could to make it up to him. Joe let out a long groan, which I graciously ignored.

"Go sit down on the couch and I'll bring you something to drink."

Those words perked Joe's spirits. "Great! I could really use a beer."

I gave him my best eye roll. "Nice try, but you're on the healthy food and drink plan too. No fast food and no Pino's for a while either. But don't worry, our families were kind enough to bring over lots of food so you don't have to be subjected to my cooking." Now it was Joe's turn to pout. I went to the refrigerator, retrieved a bottle of Zephyrhills water and brought it over to the couch. I reached out to hand it to him, but instead of taking the water, Joe grabbed me by my arm and pulled me onto his lap. He looked down the front of my V-neck dress, and I started to get that familiar tingle. Joe dragged his eyes back up to my face and smiled.

"You know, this would be much more bearable if you'd wear one of those little white nurse's uniforms while you took care of me every day." I hated to admit this, but I had missed this playful side of Joe while he was hospitalized. It was great to have him home.

"The doctor said it wouldn't be wise to do anything that would elevate your blood pressure," I said, trying to sound sorry about it. Come to think of it, I should probably be getting off his lap now. I really wanted this man.

Joe must have been in a similar state, because his face suddenly turned serious.

"I'm sorry that I can't make love to you." I was sorry too. But Joe and I had promised each other that we would talk about our problems, and we still had that task ahead of us. We've always been able to banter with each other, and obviously that hadn't changed. But we've also used sex as a way to avoid the heavy stuff and it was time to end that pattern. There were so many things I wanted resolved before Joe and I could be together again. Maybe it would turn out that we couldn't get past our differences. I didn't honestly think that was the case, but it was better to find out now. I took a deep breath and replied, "I'm not. In fact, it's the best news I've heard in awhile." Joe didn't look too pleased at that statement, so I quickly added, "Oh, spare me the damaged ego look and I'll tell you what I want."

Joe's eyes darkened. "What do you want, Cupcake?"

"I want us to go upstairs, take off our clothes, climb into bed, and then I want to talk. Really talk. There are so many things I want to say to you, things I should have said a long time ago." My voice was wavering as I spoke. I guess I was more nervous than I thought. Joe studied me for a minute, before simply replying, "OK."

I reluctantly slid off his lap, regretting the loss of his warm body against mine. I held my hand out to Joe. He took it and slowly led me up the stairs. I couldn't help but notice his stilted movements. He was still in pain from the gunshot wound. When we reached the bedroom, I placed a gentle kiss on Joe's lips while my fingers unbuttoned his shirt. I slid the shirt off his shoulders and let it fall to the floor. I stepped back to get a good look at him, and saw the bandages covering the gunshot wound. My eyes closed against the reminder of the pain I caused him. Joe sensed the change in my mood, and slipped under the blankets where I could no longer see him. I walked over to the side of the bed, undressed under his watchful gaze, and climbed in next to him. Joe reached over and started stroking my hair, instantly relaxing me.

"For starters," I began, "I want you to understand that I moved out of your house to keep you safe from Junkman. The argument was stupid and I didn't mean anything I said that day. I only wanted to protect you." I reached out and caressed the side of his face. Tears began pooling in my eyes. "Joe, I am so sorry that he hurt you because of me." Joe pulled my hand from his face and pressed a kiss on the inside of my palm.

"Steph…please don't blame yourself…"

"Please…just let me finish. There's so much I want to say; I'm afraid I won't be able to get it all out." Joe nodded. "I love you Joe. I've loved you for so long. I should have said it long before that day in the hospital. At first, I didn't want to admit it to myself because of our history. The thing is, after Dickie, I swore I wouldn't let anyone get the better of me again. Although I think I understand why you ran from me in the beginning, it didn't make it easier for me. I told you I wasn't into recreational sex. I wanted you to want me the same way I wanted you. Despite that, I decided having you in my life on your terms was better than not having you in my life at all. But to do that, I had to protect myself. So, I continued denying my true feelings for you, and put obstacles between us whenever I could. I was so scared that after wanting you for so long…that if I admitted it to myself and to you that I loved you…and then you left…I would fall apart. But, Joe, you were entitled to my trust. You earned it. The truth is, I was blaming you for Dickie's actions and the actions of an 18-year-old kid you left behind a long time ago. It was so unfair. I should have trusted you Joe, trusted you when you told me you loved me. Trusted that you would always be there, as you've been so many times I needed you. I'm so sorry."

Joe took my hand in his. "Steph, you don't need to be sorry. And I'm not going to let you take all the blame for our problems. I gave you plenty of reasons not to trust me. When we started this relationship, I asked you not to see me as the kid I used to be. I suppose that was a hell of a lot easier said than done. After all, I did disappear for five months when I realized I was starting to have feelings for you. I know I hurt you and made you doubt me when I did that. That wasn't my intention. I just didn't think I was the man you deserved. Morelli men aren't known for being keepers. But when I realized my fear was pushing you away, I decided to stop running and wait for you to realize I wasn't going anywhere again. No matter how long it took. And Steph, for what it's worth," Joe added softly, "I always knew you loved me. I could see it in your eyes when you looked at me the way you're looking at me right now. You didn't have to tell me."

"Still, I feel like I should have. Thank you for waiting. And Joe, I'm worried about disappointing you too. I don't think I'm cut out to be the Burg ideal of a housewife. At least not right now. I know that's what you want." I averted my eyes then, afraid to see the disappointment in his face. Sure that it would be there. Joe put his fingers under my chin and lifted my face so our eyes met as he spoke.

"Steph, I don't want you to be a housewife. I never did. All I ever wanted was for you to be safe. I love you for who you are—and who you aren't—and I don't want you to change for me. Truth is, I would eat peanut butter and olive sandwiches every night if it meant waking up with you every morning."

Wow. Joe had never said anything like that before. I could feel my defenses melting away. Still, even if Joe didn't expect me to be a housewife, that didn't mean he was willing to accept my job. After the Slayer incident, I wasn't certain I wanted to continue bounty hunting. Either way, though, I needed to know Joe's feelings about it.

" Joe, what about my job? That's still a big issue." Joe blew out a huge sigh.

"Steph, if you and I have any chance of making it, I know I need to be honest with you. So, honestly, I've always respected your ability to get the job done, no matter what. And I admire your perseverance and your bravery in the face of some difficult situations. It's a large part of the reason I fell in love with you in the first place."

I stared at Joe, searching his face, looking for any sign that he was mocking me, or simply saying what I wanted to hear. But I saw neither. Not that I was completely sure I would. Lying beside him, each exposed to the other in so many ways, I didn't think he would do that to me. Joe was studying me with equal intensity, probably trying to gauge my reaction. He must have sensed my hesitation in believing what he was saying, because he took another deep breath and continued talking.

"That said, Cupcake, I am always going to worry about you while you're out apprehending a skip. It's part of who I am. I don't think I can help it. I grew up in a family of very strong women. They had to be strong because the men in their lives were worthless. There was a point in my life, while I was in the Navy, when I decided I wanted to be better than that. I decided that if I ever met the right woman, I would take care of her. Then along came you. You were so damn strong and independent, that's the last thing you wanted. You make it nearly impossible to keep the promise I made to myself and it frustrates me sometimes." Joe paused for a moment before continuing. "I meant what I said at the VFW. I understand your independence and adventurous spirit is part of who you are. And I love that fire inside of you. I shouldn't have made you feel like I didn't respect you. Truth is, you aren't a bad bounty hunter."

I shot Joe a skeptical glance as he raised his finger and tapped me on the end of my nose. "You have your own style, Cupcake, and that's one of the things I love about you. But please understand, I'm still afraid of losing you because I know my life won't be complete without you in it." Joe rubbed his face with his hand. I knew he was struggling through this as much as I was. "Steph, honest communication has never been one of my strong suits. There were so many times I wanted to say something to you to make you understand how much I love you and that I only wanted you to be safe. Unfortunately, all I ever did was yell at you, say the wrong things and try to get you to quit your job. All those ultimatums were wrong. And I'm sorry. But I promise you I will try harder from now on. I still might make mistakes. If I do, tell me. Just never doubt that I love you."

Any remaining doubts had faded away. I understood where Joe was coming from. I did manage to get into a large amount of trouble. And even if his caveman tactics pushed all my buttons the wrong way, his heart was in the right place. I breathed out a huge sigh.

"Joe, I know I don't make things easy for you. I'm sorry for making you worry about me so much. I promise not to disregard your feelings so easily anymore. And I never meant to make you feel worthless in any way. Truth is, I loved knowing you were out there watching out for me. I just didn't want you to know it. Part stupid female pride and part good Italian genes. I'm going to try harder to be more understanding and less stubborn. And if I make a mistake, you tell me too. I just wish we had talked like this sooner. Maybe then we wouldn't have wasted so much time."

"Don't think of it as time wasted," Joe replied. Think of it as time spent figuring out this is what we both truly want. You don't have any more doubts, do you?"

"None. You?"

"Not a one."

Laying here with Joe, I felt like I was on cloud nine. I smiled at him. "It finally feels like all the pieces fit, and instead of just you and me together, there's an us."

"Yeah, Cupcake, there is definitely an us."

"Joe, there is one more thing I think we should discuss. The last time you proposed to me, I didn't think it was what you really wanted. When we broke up after the engagement, I missed you so much. Convincing myself that I didn't want to get married either helped me get through it." I paused, trying to find the right words. "Joe, I understand how you feel about marriage. Just having you in my life, and knowing you love me like you do is enough for me right now. We don't have to get married." Joe smiled in response, but said nothing. Maybe I was a little disappointed he didn't beg me to marry him right then, but he had surpassed my expectations today and I couldn't ask for more. I felt I owed him that much. Without thinking, I leaned over and gave him a kiss filled with passion, and promise, and love. Joe quickly responded, pulling my body closer to him. My hands skimmed the length of Joe's body. Joe's hands remained very still. Then I remembered why. We weren't supposed to be doing this. Reluctantly, I broke the kiss, but stayed close to Joe. "Sorry, I forgot," I mumbled against his lips.

"Don't give it another thought, Cupcake. That was very…nice."

My eyebrows shot to the top of my head. Nice!! I narrowed my eyes at Morelli. "Is that the best you can do? Nice?"

"Just trying to use a word that would help me out a little."

I glanced under the blankets. He was right, he needed help. Maybe it was best to change the topic completely. "Are you hungry? I can run downstairs and get you something to eat."

"It's been a long day, Cupcake, I'm more tired than hungry."

"Well then I have another idea."

"I've liked your ideas so far, tell me what this next one is."

"Why don't you just hold me all night like you always do, and in the morning I can tell you again how much I love you and keep saying it until you are tired of hearing it."

"Cupcake, I will never get tired of hearing it." Joe rolled onto his side, pulling me with him, resting his head on my shoulder.

**Ch. 12 **

I woke up the same way I had every day for the past week, with my head on Joe's chest and my arm draped over his hard stomach. I could tell by his breathing, without even looking at him, that he was still asleep. I didn't want to disturb him, and I didn't want to leave him, so I lay there and thought about the last few days.

Despite the work I had done in the living room, Joe said he preferred staying in the bedroom with me. Fine by me. We had resolved a lot the night Joe came home from the hospital, and I felt closer to him than I ever had. After that, we spent our time in bed talking more, laughing together and exchanging life stories from before we re-connected. It had built up an easy intimacy between us I was enjoying more every day.

We decided we wouldn't talk about the shooting anymore, if possible. We wanted to move forward, and Joe didn't want me continuing to feel guilty. Now, the only problem I was having was keeping my hands off Joe. Sex with Joe had always been amazing, so I couldn't imagine what it would be like now that I felt so close to him. And I really wanted to find out…badly. I knew Joe had a doctor's appointment next week to check the progress of his recovery, and I was hoping to get some good news. Of course I wanted Joe fully recovered, most importantly, but it would be great to get some good news in the "activity" department as well. I raised myself onto my elbow and studied Joe's face. Still sleeping. Ah! To hell with not disturbing him. His lips were slightly parted, just asking for a kiss. I leaned over and gently pressed a kiss on his lips, exploring the open space between his lips with my tongue.

His lips widened into a larger smile under mine.

"Did I wake you?" I asked innocently.

"Let's just say you got me up."

My hand slowly traveled south and discovered the truth to his words. I let out a small sigh. This was awful. This was like being all dressed up with no place to go. At my touch, Joe swiftly leapt out of bed. Pretty fast considering his injury. I was feeling increasingly optimistic about next week's doctor's appointment.

"Why don't you come back to bed, Joe," I purred, "I promise I'll be good."

"Actually, Steph, I have someplace to go today so I'm going to take a shower now. Sure hope there's plenty of cold water."

I rolled onto my stomach and watched Joe leave the room. I never get tired of that view. After the distraction of his ass was gone, I wondered where Joe had to go. He was still on sick leave so I doubted he had to go to the station. He never mentioned anything about this before. Besides his upcoming appointment, I didn't think he had anything scheduled. And why didn't he ask me to drive him? I was going to have to figure this out with some handy detective work.

"What are you thinking about?" Joe asked. I jumped at the sound of Joe's voice. I guess I had been lost in thought.

"What makes you think I'm thinking about anything?" I said, blinking my eyes rapidly in a show of complete innocence.

"Well, when I came in your eyebrows were scrunched together and your tongue was sticking out a little near the corner of your mouth. You do that sometimes when you're thinking. It's kind of sexy." I groaned and flopped my head onto the bed. Joe might think it's sexy, but it sounded downright unattractive to me. And who wants to be sexy when there is no chance of getting sex?

I looked up to see Joe standing a few feet away from me. The sight of Joe dripping wet and wearing nothing but a towel had my thoughts back to sex. I needed a distraction. Time to get to the detective work

"I was wondering where you wanted me to take you today. I'm not sure you should be driving until you're given a clean bill of health from your doctor."

"Nice try, Detective Plum, but Mooch is coming by to pick me up soon. I'm afraid I'm going on a solo mission today."

I've got to give it to that man. He's good. But I've got feminine wiles on my side and in this case I'm not afraid to use them. So, I stuck my lower lip out in a beautiful pout and tried in vain to get some tears out.

"Not going to work Steph. You can't even get any tears going. But, since you're going through all this effort, if you must know, it's a surprise for you. I'm telling you that much so you don't call Mary Lou the second I'm gone and try and tail me."

What an ego. I had only done that once. Maybe twice. That third time was with Lula so it shouldn't count. "Do I get a hint? What will I do here all day without you?"

"No, you don't get a hint, and stop trying to figure out where I'm going by how long I'll be gone. Go take a shower, and afterward get yourself all prettied up. By the time you're done I should be gone, and you won't be able to grill me anymore."

"Fine!" I snapped. But I'm not going to wait around here for you. I'm going to the bonds office to see Connie and Lula. They're probably dying to fill me in on the latest gossip."

Joe was grinning. He'd won the battle. "Sounds good, Cupcake. Have fun. Are you going to pick up any files while you're there?"

"Would you mind if I did?" I asked.

"Not at all. It's your choice."

I couldn't help but smile at him. He really was trying. He returned the smile as he walked over and kissed the top of my head.

"See you later, Cupcake. I love you."

"I love you too Joe." If it's possible, that made his smile get even bigger.

After showering, I left my hair in long, loose curls, the way Joe likes it best. I did the full make-up thing then dressed in jeans and a stretchy top. I didn't know if Joe's advice to "pretty up" tied in with his surprise, but I didn't feel like going too overboard if today turned out to be nothing more than a trip to Vinnie's office. I left Joe's house and stood on the porch for a minute, enjoying the fresh air. I hadn't been outside much since Joe came home. Everything I needed was in the house. It felt good to be out without having to look over my shoulder as well. I took a minute to reflect on my recent good fortune, then climbed into my car and drove to Vinnie's.

**Ch. 13**

When I walked into the office, Connie was under her desk, presumably looking for one of Vinnie's listening devices. Lula was by the filing cabinet, and if I'm not mistaken, she actually put a file in it. Although hired to file, Lula rarely does any filing. Something is amiss here. Detective Plum on a new case. Maybe I'll try the direct approach first.

"Hey guys, long time no see. What's going on?"

Connie remained under her desk. Lula put a second file away. Hmmm….looks like I'm getting the silent treatment. This was their way of punishing me for not divulging the details of my time with Joe sooner. Well, I've been known to bring criminals to their knees. Of course, I had probably doused them with pepper spray first, but still, I was confident I could break these two. I put on my best shaky voice. "When Morelli kicked me out of bed this morning, this was the first place I thought to come. Maybe I was wrong to come here."

That got 'em. These two can't resist gossip, especially not about my love life. Connie withdrew from under the desk so fast she banged the back of her head on the bottom of the desk. Lula slammed the file drawer closed. I guess two files is a good day's work.

"Shit girl. Did you already mess it up with that fine-assed boyfriend of yours? What'd you do this time?" Lula asked.

Alright. That was a little insulting. I never said Morelli kicked me out in a _bad_ way.

"Thanks for the support Lula, I think I liked it better when you were giving me the silent treatment."

"Hunh!" Lula snorted. Don't go getting uppity with me. Me and Connie here haven't heard one word from you since you called to tell us Joe was leaving the hospital."

"Hey! As much as I love being the entertainment for the two of you, Joe and I were otherwise occupied. I didn't have a chance to get to a phone."

"Uh-Uh. You can't lie to ole' Lula. Your face doesn't have that relaxed look it gets when you've been thoroughly fucked. In fact, your face has "frustrated" written all over it. You can't hide it under that fancy hair and make-up job." Damn, I didn't have a thing on Lula in the detective department. "Hold on a second," Lula continued, "is that why Morelli kicked you out? You holdin' out on him? Girl, what is the matter with you!?"

I'd had about enough of this. I opened my mouth to say something, but Lula wasn't done and cut me off before I had a chance to say one word. Turning to Connie, she said "Can you believe this shit, Connie? First she forgets all about her girls over here, then she comes in here with a pack of lies and no good sex stories. Don't that just beat all!"

Connie, who'd been a silent observer to this point, nodded in agreement.

"Enough already!" I screamed. "Look, Joe and I weren't able to…be together…because he's still recovering from the gunshot wound. But we did spend all week in bed together. We had a chance to really talk and we worked everything out. The reason he kicked me out of bed this morning is to arrange some sort of surprise that he wouldn't tell me anything about. There. That's all there is to tell."

Connie spoke up first. "That would explain the frustrated…but happy… look you have. I'm happy for you Steph."

"Thanks Connie," I responded.

Unfortunately, Lula wasn't so easy to appease. "You and Joe worked _everything_ out, huh? Does that mean you discussed Batman too?" Wow. I thought Barbara Walters asked the tough questions.

"We didn't discuss Ranger, and as far as I'm concerned we don't need to. Ranger and I talked at the hospital and we cleared everything up. Ranger is no longer an issue." I shot Lula the best death stare I could muster, relaying the message that this topic was closed.

Lula stared back at me. Message received. After a minute, she turned around and retrieved a white pastry box. "You want a donut? Connie brought them in this morning." The moment had gotten a little tense. Tense moments call for donuts. "Sure, thanks," I responded, taking a Boston Crème from the box. Connie and Lula each took one, and we ate in silence for a few minutes.

"So, you really think you and the cop are going to make it this time?" Lula asked, effectively ending our silent homage to the holy donut.

"I think so," I responded between bites. "I really got to see a side of Joe this week that I never let myself fully see before. That tough, macho cop façade he puts on frustrates me sometimes and is kind of cute at other times, but it's not the real Joe. In reality, Joe is a very generous, sweet, and loving man."

All of a sudden, the hair on the back of my neck stood up. There's only one man who has ever elicited that response in me. Crap! Once again I found myself in the position where Joe overheard something I rather he hadn't. Why me? There are so many other positions I'd rather be in with Joe. Best to just get this over with. I plastered a big smile on my face and whirled around, giving him a slight finger wave.

"Am I in big trouble?" I asked naively.

"Nah Cupcake! All cops like having it broadcast to the world that they have soft sides. Really scares the bad guys away. Keep talking like that and you might single-handedly wipe out crime in Trenton." He was trying hard to look mad, but a grin peeked out of the corner of his mouth.

"Aaaawwww. You give me too much credit."

"Maybe a little," he said in a low, sexy growl that was starting to heat my insides. If he was trying to scare me off with the growl, it was having an opposite effect. I wanted to play this game longer. I put my head down to the floor, then lifted my eyes back up to Joe's face.

"Anything I can do to make it up to you, Officer?" I asked, trying to sound demure.

"Hmmm…"Joe said, placing his hand on his chin like he was giving this deep thought. "Maybe I can use you to demonstrate just how dangerous I can be."

The predatory look in his eyes as he approached warned me that I was in for one hell of a demonstration. When Joe got to within an inch of me, he grabbed me by the arms and pressed me into him until my chest was pinned against his, and his hips were ground into mine. He wrapped one arm around my waist, the other hand behind my neck, and delivered an utterly bone-melting kiss. If Morelli hadn't had such a tight grip on me, I would have slid down his body and onto the floor. The kiss was hard and passionate, and filled with lots of promise that I hoped Joe would be able to deliver on SOON. Then my mind blanked and all I knew was how good the kiss felt. Joe broke the kiss, and I blinked my eyes a couple times while trying to get my bearings. Were my feet still on the floor? Were my clothes still on? I finally focused on Morelli's face. He was looking down at me with a very satisfied smirk on his face. Joe's well aware of the effect he has on me and is constantly amused by it. I'm pretty sure his demonstration was a success.

"I'll meet you at home in 15 minutes," Joe muttered, trying to catch his breath. Then again, make it 20. You don't look like you're in any condition to drive just yet." He turned to Connie and Lula, gave them his best mischievous smile, and nodded. "Ladies," was all he said before walking out the door. I was rendered speechless. When Joe was gone, I turned to face Connie and Lula. Connie was fanning herself with her hand, and it looked like Lula was actually swooning. She probably doesn't get called "Lady" too often.

"Down girls, that man is all mine," I said proudly. "And it's time to go see what my surprise is." I turned to leave and ran smack into Ranger.

"Babe."

**Ch. 14**

I hadn't seen or spoken to Ranger since that day in the hospital chapel. Now, here we were. Face to neck. I looked up and, of course, Ranger was grinning.

I stepped back from him a couple inches. "Hey."

"Can we step outside and talk for a minute?" Ranger asked.

I really wanted to go home and find out about Joe's surprise, and I knew he was expecting me. But something told me what Ranger wanted was important to him. And I knew, without looking, that Connie and Lula were dying to see what I'd do. "Sure," I said. Before leaving, I turned back to Connie for a moment. "I almost forgot, do you have any files for me?" It took a minute for Connie to process my request. Her eyes widened in surprise before picking up two folders and handing them to me. "These just came in. Both of them are petty thefts, they shouldn't give you any trouble."

"Thanks Connie." I turned back to Ranger. "OK, lets go."

We walked out to the alley behind the office. Ranger crossed his arms over his chest, cocked his head to the side and eyed me questioningly. "You're still going to do the bounty hunting?"

"Long term, I'm still not sure yet. But I don't want what happened with the Slayers to make the decision for me. I'll keep with it for a little while longer and see what happens. But that isn't what you wanted to talk to me about, is it? What do you want, Ranger?"

Ranger looked at me intently. "Joe's been home from the hospital a few days now. I just wanted to know if you're really happy?"

I stared at Ranger, unable to figure out his motivation for asking that question. I was anxious to get home and not in the mood for playing games. I thought we had worked this out already. I was getting ticked off, and before I could stop myself I said, "Are you asking as an opportunist or as a friend? Why do you want to know?"

Ranger started to reach his hand toward me, then apparently thought better of it and crossed it back over his chest. His lips curved upward in just a hint of a smile. Nice to see I was still a source of amusement.

"I'm simply asking as a friend. I've seen you go through lots of ups and downs in your relationship with Joe. I just want to know you're doing OK."

My attitude softened. Ranger was no longer a threat to my happiness with Joe. I could relax and give him what he wanted.

"I am wonderful, Ranger, really. These past few days, Joe and I have talked—really talked. We never did that before. We let a lot of misunderstandings stand in our way, and we wasted a lot of time. We're not doing that anymore. Joe's a wonderful man and the last few days he's quieted all my doubts. We're going to make it this time." What did I see in Ranger's eyes? Relief? Regret? Maybe a little of both. I stepped forward and pressed a kiss on his cheek. "You're the one who told me this was inevitable Ranger," I said quietly. "After all, you sent me back to Joe after we slept together, and you're the first one who told me straight out that I loved him. And you were right about all of it. Please know that I am happier than I ever dreamed I could be."

"I'm glad, Babe. I just wanted to make sure everything worked out after Joe came home." I was watching Ranger's face. I think he meant what he said.

"I understand. And I appreciate it. You are a good friend. But now if you will excuse me, Joe is waiting for me at home with a surprise."

"You got it Babe."

I walked toward my car, but something felt unfinished with Ranger. I wanted things with Ranger to be the way they used to be, us helping each other out when needed, but without any of the sexual tension that existed before. This whole honesty thing was so new to me. It had me feeling unsettled like I was failing to achieve some important goal. I turned back to Ranger as he was getting into his car. "Hey," I yelled to him. Ranger turned and looked at me. "Since I'm a little rusty, do you mind if I call you for some assistance on the FTA's Connie gave me?" Ranger responded with a genuine smile. It had been a while since I had seen one.

"Sure thing, Babe. Call me anytime." Then he climbed in his car and drove off. I stepped into my car knowing I had just achieved that important goal. I smiled to myself and turned my thoughts to the surprise awaiting me at home.

**Ch. 15 **

I walked through the front door and immediately recognized the smell of meatball subs from Pino's. I guess this was my big surprise. He probably kept it a secret since he knew I'd be upset with him for going against doctor's orders. Until he got his clean bill of health, he should still be eating healthy food. I stepped inside the house and shut the door behind me. The next thing I noticed were rose petals strewn on the floor, creating a path to the kitchen. I didn't see Joe anywhere, so I decided to follow the path of petals. When I reached the kitchen, I noticed the table was set with real stemware, a far cry from the usual paper plates we ate with. And there were flowers and candles on the table.

Everything looked great, and I appreciated the effort Joe had gone through. As my eyes continued to scan the room, Joe entered my line of vision. He was wearing a dress shirt and silk trousers and looked sexier than any man should be allowed to look. He was wearing his wolfish grin, making me wonder if I was dinner instead of the subs. Suddenly it hit me: The kiss at the office, and now the seduction scene playing out here. Joe had moved his appointment up and gone to the doctor today. And if my intuition was correct, things had gone well. Just thinking about it made my mouth go dry and other places wet. I swallowed hard so I wouldn't choke on my words.

"Let me guess. You're healthy."

"As a horse," he said with just a hint of a smile at the corner of his lips.

I gave him my best sexy smile. "Any chance of me riding the horse tonight?"

That earned me a full grin. "There is an excellent chance, Cupcake, don't you worry. But I think we should eat first. You're going to need your strength." The way Joe looked right now, it was all I could do not to drag him up the stairs this minute. But the food did smell great, and it had been so long since I'd had Pino's, so I reluctantly agreed. We ate in silence, staring into the other's eyes, each with our own thoughts of the night ahead.

"That was delicious, Joe, thank you," I said when we both finished eating. Is there anything for dessert?"

The wolfish grin returned. "Dessert's upstairs, Cupcake, and quite frankly I can't wait to eat mine."

My face flushed 1,000 shades of red.

We walked up the stairs together and into the bedroom. When we reached the bedroom, Joe spun me around and kissed me tenderly on the mouth, fueling my desire further. Standing in front of the bed, we slowly undressed each other. Joe's eyes scanned over me from head to toe, finally stopping back at my face. He studied me for a minute before saying, "You seem nervous."

"God help me I am. I don't even know why. It's not like we haven't done this before."

Joe wrapped his arms around my waist and held me against him. "I know why you're nervous," he murmured in my ear. "You're nervous because you know I'm going to make love to you tonight the way no man, including myself, has ever made love to you before. You're nervous because after tonight there's no turning back. I'm not going to just enter your body tonight, I'm going to enter your soul."

Oh God. If I wasn't completely in love with this man before, I certainly was now. Joe lowered me onto the bed and swiftly covered my body with his. I was trapped beneath him, the way he wanted it, with nothing to do but surrender myself to his touch. He ran his fingers through my hair, then lowered his mouth to mine and trailed soft kisses on my lips, my face, and my neck. The only break in his kissing occurred when Joe would stop to tell me he loved me, or that we belonged together, or that I was beautiful. I, however, couldn't speak. I could barely remember to breathe I was so lost in the mindless pleasure Joe willingly and generously bestowed on me.

As Joe kissed me, his hands began stroking down my arms and sides, across my stomach and chest and back again. Occasionally he would stop to caress my breasts, gently squeezing the nipples between his fingers. His feet and legs were waging a similar assault up and down my legs. His movements were slow and careful, his touches barely there. I felt dizzy from the heat that surged through my body and came to rest low in my belly. My body burned with pleasure from Joe's touch and kisses, but his words were intensifying every sensation, threatening to ignite the heat into a blazing inferno. My insides were tightening, my breath coming in shallow gasps. Every inch of my body was quivering in anticipation of that inevitable release. Despite his roaming hands, Joe always stopped just short of the one place that screamed for his attention. My desire and need for Joe was so intense the throbbing between my legs was becoming an ache. I wanted to scream at him and tell him what I needed, but I trusted Joe, and I knew he had his own ideas for tonight. He wanted to prolong this as long as possible. Still unable to move under his weight, I lay my head back and let out a small moan in surrender. The kiss's deepened, pushing me even closer to the brink. I wouldn't be able to stand it much longer before releasing the sweet pressure building inside me. I gathered the presence of mind to run my nails down Joe's back to his ass, eliciting a small moan from Joe before he finished the kiss. Joe has amazing instincts, and sensing my desperation he began lowering himself down my abdomen. My hand darted forward and grabbed hold of his shoulder.

"No," I gasped, "Stay…"

Joe brought his head back up and gazed at me. His eyes were filled with so much love my heart could have burst. He wrapped one arm behind my back, while his free hand moved down, skimming my breast before coming to rest between my legs. He lowered his mouth to my neck, softly biting where it joined with my shoulder, while his fingers traced gentle circles on just the right spot. I was so close to the edge already, it didn't take long before I had a mind-blowing orgasm. My hips rocked against Joe uncontrollably. Joe held me tightly, steadying me, while whispering in my ear how much he loved watching me like this.

When the waves subsided, I collapsed back in Joe's arms. The experience had been so intense. I hadn't merely felt the familiar waves of physical pleasure, but a swell of love had welled up inside me at the same time that I had never felt with anyone before, including Joe. I opened my eyes to see Joe gazing down at me and smiling. I desperately wanted…no needed, to feel him inside me.

"I need you now, Joe…please."

Any other night, Joe may have teased me. But not tonight. Instinctively, I knew tonight was about satisfying my wants and needs so there would be no doubt how much he loved me. He rolled us over until he was positioned back on top. He laced his fingers with mine and raised both my arms over my head before entering me. Still feeling the aftershocks from my last orgasm, my body immediately clenched around him. Everything about tonight had been slow and sensual, and now was no exception. Joe's rhythm was slow and deep. He kept his eyes locked with mine. I arched my back as I could feel everything tightening again as the pressure approached the boiling point and then the electric sensation shot through my body as the tension overflowed in a shattering orgasm. I wanted so much to keep my eyes locked with Joe's so he could see how much I returned all the love he gave me, but the sheer strength of the orgasm forced my eyes closed. Joe nuzzled my neck and slowed his movements more as I moaned, and gasped, and called out his name over and over like a mantra until the powerful contractions finally ceased. Suddenly, his movements quickened, causing another surge in me and then Joe was there as well. He collapsed on top of me, and we lay together until our bodies stopped shaking and our breathing returned to normal. Joe lifted himself up and, propping himself on his elbows, cupped my face in his hands. He placed kisses on my forehead, nose and cheeks before finally bringing his lips to rest on mine for another long, gentle kiss.

It proved to be a long night after all. Later that night, I relaxed in Joe's arms, wrapped tightly around me. Both of us were exhausted. Joe had been right. Nobody had ever made me feel so loved during sex. As corny as it sounded, I now understood what making love was all about. Tonight had been nothing short of amazing.

"I love you Joe," I whispered. "I know Cupcake," he whispered back. Good enough for me.

**Ch. 16 (Joe's POV) **

"Yo!"

"Yo yourself. I need to talk to you. Can we meet?"

"I'm on a job. Give me one hour and I'll meet you at Pino's.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Making love with Steph for the first time after being discharged from the hospital had been amazing. I know men don't usually refer to it that way, but with Steph that's what it was. And I know she felt the same way. Every night since then had been just as wonderful. The days were going well also. Steph went out a few times to track down FTA's, and she's been pretty successful catching her skips. There were far fewer disasters, and her car hasn't been blown up recently. I didn't want Steph to think I was being obnoxious, but I wanted her to know I was proud of her. When I commented on how well she was doing, she didn't get angry or defensive. She simply agreed and said having things more settled between us gave her more confidence. I was glad to hear that.

But I also found out from some buddies at the station that Ranger had helped Steph with the takedowns. Since she was feeling more confident, and the skips were minor offenses, having Ranger assist her was an obvious sign that Steph still wanted Ranger in her life.

I understood Steph and Ranger shared a special bond, borne from intense situations they experienced together. But Steph never mentioned Ranger when we discussed our relationship issues; so I chose to believe that meant she didn't view Ranger as an obstacle, which was reassuring. But I'm not stupid. I suspected Ranger and Steph had something going on while we were broken up. It didn't matter to me what happened in the past. Steph was with me now. Unfortunately, I had no way of knowing Ranger's feelings, so now I needed to make sure Ranger understood that. I planned to propose to Steph tomorrow and I didn't want Ranger standing in the way.

So there I was, in the back booth at Pino's, waiting for the man in black. I had no idea what I was going to say to Ranger, what I wanted to know from him, or if I really wanted to know anything at all. Maybe not knowing anything for sure was the safer way to go. Yet, things were going perfectly with Steph for the first time in our relationship, and I had to do anything to preserve that. Even if it meant hearing truths from Ranger I didn't want to hear. What if Ranger chose to pursue a relationship with Steph? Was there a chance I could still lose her? I started to feel sick thinking about it. And as I sat there waiting, I knew I was ready to do whatever I had to. I had Steph's love on my side. I knew that after everything we had been through together. Now was the time to make sure Ranger knew it as well. Especially if my plan was going to work, and I really wanted it to.

As Ranger walked in, several pairs of women's eyes turned to stare. For the first time, I let myself see the attraction Ranger held for women, and wished I hadn't. This wasn't the time to start feeling insecure. Men like Ranger pounced on moments of weakness, maybe I would end up losing Steph after all. NO!! That was not going to happen. Steph was mine now. Completely. She had told me so many times, and showed me in so many ways how much she loved me and was committed to me.

Ranger sat down and crossed his arms. His lips were set in a grim line. He was probably pissed off because I took his favorite spot against the back wall. We stared at each other for a few beats, engaged in a contest of wills, jockeying for position.

I nodded my head in his direction. "Ranger."

"Morelli."

A waitress came toward us but Ranger waved her away. This was not a social visit. Time to get to business. "I wanted to talk to you about Steph, I blurted." Smooth. The man didn't flinch, gave nothing away. I was determined to stay just as calm, no matter what happened. I continued staring at him, not willing to concede, wanting him to know I was serious about what I was saying. "We're together now—really together—and I don't want to see her get hurt."

"I'm not going to hurt her," Ranger replied calmly. "I love her."

I quietly sucked in some air. Ranger might as well have punched me in the gut. "I was afraid of that," I replied, hoping I hadn't sounded pathetic. Thoughts started crashing through my head of what I would do to fight this man for Steph--a fight I would win-- when I suddenly became aware Ranger had started talking again.

"But not the way you love her," Ranger continued. "And not the way she deserves to be loved. She understands that, and you need to as well."

Was I hearing this right? I struggled to maintain my calm veneer. I was still having a hard time catching my breath, but at least my stomach didn't feel so twisted inside. "Then you're not going to try and tell Steph she's making a mistake with me? That she could do better with, say, you?"

"Wasn't planning on it. Look, Morelli, you're a good guy and I have a lot of respect for you as a cop. You've made a couple mistakes with Steph, and I'll admit that I was willing to take advantage of that, but that's in the past now."

Trusting Ranger was not an easy thing for me. I wasn't going to believe him on blind faith alone, without more information. "Mind telling me what changed?" I asked, starting at him intently, refusing to let him see I ever had any doubts.

"Steph and I talked about it. She's in love with you and committed to making it work with you." I was surprised. I never considered the possibility that Steph would discuss me with Ranger. But Ranger just said she told him she loved me. She wouldn't have done that unless she meant it. I couldn't help but smile a little, and started feeling much more optimistic about my proposal.

"Look, I'll admit I spent a lot of time fighting my feelings for Steph and made some mistakes with her. I'm through fighting, and that includes fighting with you. I know that you two are good friends and I want you to know that I won't interfere with that. Therefore, I think the easiest thing to do, and the best thing for Steph, is for the three of us to learn to co-exist together peaceably. It may take her awhile to get used to, but in the end it'll make her happy. What do you say?"

Ranger tilted his head to the side, considering the idea. Finally, he nodded. "We've worked together in the past for her. I think it's safe to say there isn't anything either one of us wouldn't do for her."

"I agree. So, as part of our first operation in doing what's best for Steph, can I ask you for a favor?"

"Shoot."

"I'm going to propose to Steph tomorrow. She's planning on going to the office to turn in a couple of body receipts. I want to catch her off guard there. Can you ensure she'll be there at 3 o'clock?"

Ranger nodded at me. "Consider it done." He hesitated for a moment, then added, "I know she'll be very happy."

"Thanks…for everything. You know, turns out you're really not so scary."

Ranger threw his head back, laughing loudly. Afterward, Ranger leaned in toward me and said in a low voice, "I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Steph when I first met her."

"What's that?"

Grinning, Ranger said, "Don't let that get around. I have a reputation to maintain."

I laughed this time. "Will do. I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Guess so." Ranger extended his hand and we shook on it. I left Pino's thinking that had gone better than I expected, at the same time wondering if it would go as well when I told Steph what I had done.

**Ch. 17 (Joe's POV) (Still)**

I opened the door to the house and stood frozen in the open doorway. Steph was lying sideways on the couch, legs tucked under her, wearing nothing but black lingerie and a provocative smile. My eyes scanned the length of her, but my body was motionless.

"Hey, Joe…the door. We wouldn't want the neighbors to get the wrong idea."

"What idea might they get?" I asked, smiling, as I closed the door behind me.

Steph climbed off the couch and slinked toward me. "Oh, I don't know. That we're living in sin—again."

"I don't want to alarm you, Cupcake, but I think they may already have that idea."

"Uh-huh" she mumbled as her lips nuzzled my neck.

It amazes me how quickly my body responds to this woman. It was taking all the control I had not to scoop her in my arms and carry her upstairs. Better yet, I could lower her to the floor and take her right here. But, with my brain still somewhat in control, I knew I needed to tell her about my conversation with Ranger before this went any further. I wasn't sure how she was going to react, and I didn't want it between us. Steph's lips were traveling down my neck to my chest while her hands were fumbling at my waist.

"Uh…Steph…I need to say something first…before…" already I was having trouble forming coherent thoughts and knew I had to stop her lips' descent before she reached my point of no return. I pulled her up and wrapped my arms around her. Steph was looking very confused, and a little hurt. After all, she had obviously planned this scene out. I was pretty sure the lingerie was new. I felt guilty as hell, but better to tell her now than ruin what Steph had planned after it was done. That didn't seem fair. I sucked in a deep breath.

"I spoke with Ranger today"—_was that panic in her eyes_?—about us," I said as I blew out the deep breath I had taken.

Steph narrowed her eyes at me and took a step back. "Why would you do that? What did you talk about? Why didn't you talk to me about it first? What were you thinking? Jesus Joe, everything was going so good for us, why? I don't understand." Tears were pooling in her eyes, and I understood. Steph wasn't angry, she was scared. Scared that I discovered something that would change my mind about us. I reached out and took her face in my hands. I kissed her softly on the lips, trying to reassure her.

"Steph, come sit down with me." She slowly shook her head. "Please." She followed me to the couch, and sat down across from me, but kept her head facing the wall.

"I saw Ranger today because I wanted to make sure he was clear on his role in your life. Steph, I'm not sharing you." She turned her head to look at me.

"I don't know if I should be really pissed off, or flattered in some sort of Neanderthal way. Joe, I already took care of that with Ranger."

"Yeah, he told me."

She raised an eyebrow questioningly. "He did?"

"Yeah. You could have told me, you know. I'm actually rather flattered."

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want to upset you". Steph blew out a breath. "No, that's not it. I was protecting myself. I wasn't sure how much you knew about what happened between us, and I didn't want you to know." Steph placed her hand on my cheek and looked into my eyes. "I don't want to lose you." Then she dropped her hand and turned her eyes away again as a tear fell.

I put my fingers under her chin and turned her face to me. I wiped the tear away with my thumb.

"Steph, you're never going to lose me. Look, I had my suspicions about you and Ranger for a long time. I told you I didn't like the way he looked at you. And it intensified after we broke up and got back together. It was fairly obvious the two of you slept together…at least to me."

Steph's hands were clenched tightly into fists. "Sorry," she whispered quietly.

"I'm not," I said reassuringly. Steph didn't say anything, she didn't move, still wouldn't look at me. I wanted to touch her, kiss her, make her feel better. I always hated when she cried. But I didn't want her thinking I was rushing through this to get to the activity she had obviously planned. I didn't want her to doubt the truth of what I said. She was having a hard time with this and I could comfort her only with words. "I'm not sorry," I repeated. "You had a chance with Ranger but you came back to me. Frankly, I prefer that to having you wonder the rest of your life if you didn't pass up something better by staying with me."

After a few beats, Steph looked at me again. The sparkle was back in her eyes and she was smiling in a way that melted my heart. She threw her arms around my neck and gave me a long passionate kiss.

"So, you were flattered, huh?" Steph asked when she broke the kiss.

"You finally got around to that," I said grinning. "Yes, I was flattered. It showed me that our relationship meant enough to you to eliminate…alternatives. And I hope it means you trust in us the way I do."

She kissed me again. Softer this time. "It absolutely does."

"By the way, I like this outfit," I said as I trailed a finger down her cleavage.

"I thought you might. But you're welcome to show me exactly how much you like it." She flashed me a come-and-get-me smile and headed for the stairs. I was quick to follow.

**Ch. 18 **

I woke up intertwined with Joe after another wonderful night. I could really get used to this. I was afraid I already had. I wasn't even upset any more that he met with Ranger without telling me first. After all, he was honest about it afterward, and now there were no more secrets between us. That's the way it should be. I probably should have told Joe the truth about Ranger myself. But all's well that ends well, I guess, and this had ended VERY well. My stomach quivered just thinking about last night.

I jumped a little when I heard Joe's voice rumble in my ear. "What are your plans for today?" Is it possible to be turned on just by the sound of a voice?

"Well, I already told you I was going by Vinnie's office to pick up a couple checks. But first I have to…" The sound of the phone ringing cut me off before I had a chance to finish. I glanced at the clock. Who could be calling this early? I reached over and grabbed the phone.

"Hey Babe."

"Ranger, hi, what can I do for you?" Morelli's lips started grazing my neck, right below my earlobe. I elbowed him. Futilely.

"I need your help with something. I was wondering if you could meet me around 3 o'clock today to discuss it." Morelli was moving his way over to the other side of my neck, crossing that spot in the back that's guaranteed to make me putty in his hands.

"3 o'clock? Uh, sure." God that feels good. Better end this conversation now before I start moaning into the phone. "I was stopping by the bonds office later, is that, uh…OK?" _Please say yes, please say yes, pleeeeease say yes_. Morelli's hands were getting busy too. I couldn't stay on the phone much longer. I could feel Ranger grinning on the other end of the phone. He must have sex radar. Goes with the ESP. I was really going to have to give it to Joe when I got off the phone. Of course, that was what he wanted.

"That'll work Babe. I'll see you then." I was about to hang up the phone when Ranger said, "Want to talk about the weather? I hear it's going to be a hot one today." I could still hear the grin in his voice and knew he was enjoying making me squirm. How am I going to survive the two men in my life? "Bye Ranger." I disconnected from the sound of light chuckling and turned my attention to Joe.

"Was that necessary!?"

"It's you, Cupcake, you're completely irresistible." Joe's eyes darkened. "Sounds like you're meeting Ranger at 3 o'clock. That gives us a lot of time." His hand slowly began making its way between my thighs.

I removed his hand and placed it on the bed. "Sorry, not this time tiger. Family duty calls."

Joe groaned and flopped his head down on the bed. "What does Grandma Mazur need from you now? A trip to the beauty shop for pink highlights?"

"Hey! It's not my family this time—it's yours. I forgot to tell you yesterday, but your mom called and asked me to come over so she could give me some recipes for your favorite dishes. Any idea what that's all about?"

A quick smile flashed across Joe's face, then quickly disappeared again before he answered, "Not a clue, Cupcake." Strange.

"Huh!" I retorted. "OK. Care to join me?"

The smile returned. "Not a chance. This sounds like some female bonding stuff to me."

"Yeah," I said glumly. "That's kind of what I was afraid of." I gave Joe a quick kiss on the cheek, climbed out of bed and padded into the bathroom to take a shower. Standing under the hot water, I started thinking about my upcoming venture. While Joe's mom and I had come to a sort of truce while Joe was in the hospital, trading recipes seemed so _committed._ I didn't think Angie Morelli wanted her prized recipes outside the family. Since it seemed that Joe had taken me up on my offer not to discuss marriage right now, I thought maybe she was jumping the gun. "You promised to be patient," said the little voice in my head. _That voice can be so annoying_.

I picked up the shampoo bottle, thinking it might be best if I washed thoughts of Joe right out of my hair…for now anyway. I was about to pour shampoo into my hand when I felt Joe sneak up behind me, taking the shampoo bottle out of my hands. "I'll do that," Joe murmured huskily. He poured some shampoo into his hands and proceeded to give my hair a thorough washing. Joe had incredible hands. Strong one minute, gentle the next. I resisted the urge to reach back and take hold of the hard object poking my ass. Just in case Mrs. Morelli was equipped with the same sensor as Lula, Connie, Ranger, Vinnie--_Sheesh_!- it seemed prudent not to go to Angie Morelli's house with that "satisfied" look that was apparently so…well…apparent on me. Besides, I was thoroughly enjoying the purely sensual experience of Joe washing my hair and saw no sense in distracting him from his task. An hour later, I was shampooed, shined, sex-glow free and on my way to visit Joe's mom.

A few hours later, I left Angie Morelli's house with a stack of recipes I would probably never use and a very strange feeling. I told Mrs. Morelli that I was meeting Ranger later in the day, and it seemed like she didn't want to let me leave, finding reasons to keep me there long after she had given me the recipes. I hoped she didn't think anything was going on with Ranger and me! Still, she was certainly pleasant enough, and all in all it wasn't a horrible afternoon…even after Grandma Bella came in and announced she had a vision in which Joe and I had a pack of seven boys to carry on the Morelli name. Yikes!

Thanks to Joe's mom, I arrived at the bonds office almost exactly at 3 o'clock. So much for the shopping trip I was going to sneak in this afternoon. Maybe it's for the best, since there's a good chance I would've lost track of time in the shoe department and been late for my meeting with Ranger. He really hates that. When I walked into the office, Connie was filing her nails with the wrong side of the emery board and Lula was filing. That's twice in a little over a week. The last time, she was trying to give me the silent treatment. What the hell did I do this time? And if they're supposed to be giving me the silent treatment, why are they gawking at me with big goofy grins on their faces? Avoiding their stares for a minute, I noticed the door to Vinnie's office was closed.

Since "interesting" things always happen behind a closed door to Vinnie's office, I thought this would make a good conversation opener. Just in case I was getting the silent treatment.

"So. What's Vinnie up to in there today? Livestock? Joyce?"

"Uh, it's just a regular-type nooner. You know, nothing special," Lula responded.

A regular-type nooner? What the hell does that mean? Usually Lula can't wait to share the gory details of Vinnie's escapades with me. I strained my ears to see if I could hear anything that would give me a clue. I didn't hear anything. Couldn't be Joyce in there with him then, she usually barks like a dog for Vinnie. But Vinnie's usually good for a few noises himself during his recreational activities. It was too quiet in his office. I started thinking something could be wrong with Vinnie. He's not my favorite person, but I'd hate to think he was standing at the check-out lane with my grandfather at the big supermarket in the sky.

"I don't hear anything in there. Do you think someone should go in there and check on him?" I asked. "Are you even sure there's someone in there with him?"

Connie and Lula were both frantically shaking their heads.

"I'm not risking my job going in there," Connie said.

"I seen some freaky ass shit as a ho, and I've had my fill. No way I want to walk in and see some nasty shit going on," Lula seconded.

I was about to object when Ranger arrived.

"Ranger! Good, you're here. Connie and Lula say Vinnie's in his office, but I don't hear anything and I'm a little worried. Would you go in there and check on him?" I asked, batting my eyelashes. "I'd do it, but he's family you know, and it doesn't seem appropriate for me to see him in _that condition_. Just in case."

"No way, Babe, I try to limit my visits to Vinnie's office to once a week, and I don't want to surpass my quota."

"Fine!" I shouted. "If nobody will go in there and make sure he's alright, I guess I'll have to do it." I made sure to shout loud enough to warn Vinnie I was coming, just in case he was OK and wanted to pull up his pants…or something.

As I started approaching the door, Joe sauntered out of Vinnie's office. I almost fell over from shock. What would Joe be doing in Vinnie's office?

"Hey Cupcake."

"Don't tell me…the duck's finally decided to press charges," I said.

"Cute Steph. Actually, Vinnie had to step out for a while. I was just borrowing his office. But I'm sure he'll be really pleased to hear you were so worried about him." A stupid grin swept slowly across Joe's face. "Your caring nature is one of the things I love most about you."

"Uh-huh. So, did you come to see me?"

"Actually, I did." It was a pleasant surprise, but I was still feeling a little freaked out. Joe rarely comes to the office, and Connie and Lula have been acting strange ever since I came in. I was convinced something was going on I didn't know about.

"You're doing that thing again that you do with your eyebrows when you're trying to figure something out. You're cute when you do that." Joe was steadily advancing on me as he spoke, and he was right, my brows were furrowed. I was clueless. Lula and Connie were grinning ear to ear, and even Ranger's lips were slightly upturned in his equivalent of a smile. They seemed to be enjoying themselves, I figured I would too. Just sit back and see what Joe was up to this time. Joe reached me and took my hand in is.

"In fact," Joe continued, "you are downright beautiful, even though you don't seem to know it. And you have so much spirit. No matter what happens to you, you pick yourself up and keep going. And you never lose sight of the good in people. I've never known a more caring person than you. We've certainly been through a lot together, good and bad. And you stuck with me through it all. You are incredibly loyal and the greatest friend anyone could ever have. In fact, you're my best friend. And you make people want to be better. I want to be a better person for you. And I am really going to try. I promise you that."

Joe had been wonderful since he came home from the hospital, so why did he feel he needed to say all this? Did he want reassurance? That seemed unlike the over-confident Joe I knew so well. I was studying his face for even the slightest clue to what he was doing and coming up empty. I started to say something but he raised his hand up to stop me. "Wait. Let me finish. You should know what a wonderful person you are; however, you don't take compliments well, especially from me, because I can tell right now from that adorable look on your face you're thinking I want something." Our eyes locked. "Well, you're right, I do want something. I want to spend every day with you for the rest of my life. I want my home to be your home, so that home is a place worth going to and I have a reason to go there. I want to wake up every morning to your scary morning hair. I want to kiss your scrapes and boo-boos when your captures don't go well, and I want to celebrate with you when they do. And I want to worry about you through all of them because worrying about you reminds me how much I love you and loving you has been the best thing I've done in my entire life. Besides, I'm beginning to like the taste of Maalox."

The tears started streaming down my cheeks, but I had to laugh through my tears at that comment. Poor Joe. I do put him through a lot. "If you think you can give me all the things I want, then there is just one more thing I want." My stomach was in knots. I was so afraid to let myself believe this moment had come. Joe got down on one knee and held up a beautiful diamond ring. "Steph, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?" Lula and Connie immediately started whooping and hollering.

"Wait until she says yes," Joe yelled. So Connie and Lula started yelling at me to say something.

"Alright already," I yelled back. "I just need a minute to take this all in."

Joe was looking up at me, still down on one knee. He was probably starting to wonder if I was actually going to say yes, because then he added, "Just so you know I'm really serious this time, if it's required to make your answer a yes, I want never to have sex with you again." The last time Joe proposed, I accused him of doing it just so he could have sex with me. This time I knew he was serious. I had no doubts. And I knew without a doubt that I wanted to marry him.

"Yes, I'll marry you. There's nothing I want more."

Joe got up, grabbed me around the waist and kissed me senseless. When we finally broke the kiss, we were both laughing. Joe held one of my hands while he used his other hand to wipe the tears off my cheeks. There was so much love in his eyes when he looked at me, I felt like I was being crushed under his gaze. A familiar ache started forming low in my body. I needed to take Joe home. Staring back into his eyes, I said calmly, "By the way, that last thing you said won't be necessary because if you don't take me home right now and make love to me for the rest of the day after everything else you just said, I just may change my yes to a no."

Joe stared at me for a beat, his eyes softening as he processed what I'd said. "What are we waiting for?"

We started heading for the door, still holding hands, looking into each other's eyes, neither one of us wanting to break the connection. Joe pushed the door open, and I hesitated in the doorway. Without looking away from Joe, I yelled back to Connie, "Just keep the checks I came for, I don't care. I have a feeling I'm not going to be around much for the next couple days."

"No problem Steph."

Joe and I continued walking and as the door closed behind us, I heard Lula say "Steph is the shit."

"She always gets her man," Connie replied.

I thought about what Connie said as I got into Joe's truck with him. In this case, at least, she was right. I had Joe and it felt good. I smiled at him as I buckled my seat belt. I had a feeling I was in for the ride of a lifetime.


End file.
